Stepping into the Abyss…

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Stepping in to the abyss…
It’s been 2 months since the Solstice and I’ve been waiting to find my footing again. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no footing as I have known previously. We have stepped in to the abyss and our feet don’t actually land in a comforting space as we have known previously. This is quite a shake up. At times it seems overwhelming. The clarity, the strength, the knowing that I have been living with evidenced by synchronicities galore, is all shrouded in a veil of uncertainty. Fears are up, within me, and in the world in general. I watch the stories I create when I am afraid. They are powerful, immobilizing, completely paralyzing. I see the reality of this when I am rock climbing. It always astounds me as to what actually stops me in my climb. Sometimes it’s the simplest of moves (simple for my physical body but not my mind); that catches me. I watch myself climb, my physical body being driven by my spirit and the moment that my mind gets involved, I lose myself. Sometimes, that happens because of exhaustion and other times not being able to feel or know where to go. Either way, the outcome is the same, my mind takes over and I don’t know what the next step looks like or feels like. I want to know before I move. I want to know so that I can feel in control, not be caught off guard, not be surprised by a fall, not be surprised by the direction this route is taking me. I am a control freak. I am paralyzed by my fear of not knowing what is ahead of me. This may surprise many of you as I seem to have lived a life filled with taking chances and diving in to the unknown, embracing fears, living in faith and trusting myself. It is true, that is how I have lived for many years and here I am again being shaken to the core, wanting a safety net so that I can predict the outcome before I even take the step.
Part of the shifts we are currently experiencing in the world has led me to the awareness that there are no guarantees. This is all unknown. We are walking a new path, a different path. We can sit back and watch others walk their paths and gain a sense of security in that, “if she can do it, I can do it”. There’s nothing wrong with that. Personally, I know that I didn’t come here to waste time watching other people live their lives while I find the courage to dive in. Dive in, jump in, fall in…that is what my life has been looking like for the past couple of years…facing all of my fears, living in them, confronting them every chance I get. I’m not sure why I’m doing this other than I know that I do not want to live a life of fear and if I am immobilized, I am afraid. Where fear resides, love does not exist. I don’t like the feeling of fear and so I face it, immerse myself in it and transcend it. Freedom is not living without fear but knowing I have the strength to transcend it, again and again and again.
What an exciting time we are living in. Much of our past has been destructive, dehumanizing, devaluing. It has served its purpose so we can resist that what we don’t want and create what we do. Look around…everything is changing! The impossible and unpredictable is happening over and over. There are no certainties. There doesn’t need to be. Being certain of something ensures that we are pulling our history forward with us. This is the time of creation, a new life, a new world…what are you creating for your life?

Posted in Connecting with SELF

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4 Responses to “Stepping into the Abyss…”

  • Anne Hofer says:

    I have found that fear and love can exist at the same time. Love is a constant and fear exists only in the present. In this way I remember that love is always here and I can step out of fear.

  • Lindsay says:

    What a great way of refocusing back on love. I believe that love is the only energy that exist. In the absence of it, (or perceived absence of it) we experience fear. Of course, it is never really gone, but for a brief moment, or extended period of time, we forget it’s existence and in our perception of life we experience the absence of it. By remembering that love is always there, moves us out of the fear quickly. It is a great mind activity as fear is based in the mind. I also find that letting go of the mind, through meditation, experiencing the connection of spirit energy in my body also removes all fear. I’m wondering if other people have found different techniques to shift us back in to a space of love and out of fear.

  • Maryanne says:

    Embracing fear has lead to my freedom. Thank you for teaching me that.

  • Lindsay says:

    It’s a great life, isn’t it Maryanne!

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